Things I will not do this summer:

1. I will not attempt to live off my land.
2. I will not purchase plants that I will then neglect.
3. I will not entertain people in my backyard.

I despise gardening.  I do not like weeding, watering or pruning.  I do not like watching a tomato slowly ripen to perfection only to have it become my dog’s afternoon snack.  I do enjoy pretty flowers and fresh vegetables.  But I can get fresh veggies, fruit, herbs, eggs, honey and more at the local Farmer’s Market on Wednesdays and Saturdays.  It’s all there for the buying.  And some of the produce still has actual dirt on it thereby proving its freshness.  This also allows me to avoid pesky weeds, bugs and gross things under my fingernails.

I am more than happy to live off my local farmer’s land and allow my garden to become the wild jungle it was always meant to be.  And while I do love the vision of riding my bike home with the wind gently blowing carrot tops and wildflowers draped casually over the edge of my wicker basket, the reality is I’ll be in my Mazda 5 with the windows down, Justin Bieber blaring and children bickering over the last donut hole.  I’m totally good with this whole scenario.

With the amount of money I save not planting plants I can afford to buy the yummy spring rolls and real-deal-super-squeaky cheese curds at the market – every single week!  And I won’t have to watch my hard earned cash get choked out by weeds, pooped on by dogs or nibbled by adorable bunnies before shamefully turn a blind eye on the whole sorted mess.

Nor will I spend two days completely guilt ridden about the state of my back yard before having friends over for a barbeque.  Or spend hours trying to nonchalantly hang towels and sheets on the clothes line in an attempt to hide my disgraceful garden.  Yup, those days are gone.

This summer I am entertaining exclusively on my front porch – seating for two.  I purchased flowers for three small pots and a lovely hanging fern.  I have created a cozy, lush get away right outside my front door.

The front porch is an extrovert’s paradise.  Walkers, joggers, runners, rollerbladers, cyclists, bikers and golfers (yes, I live across from a golf course) all need a wave, chat or word of encouragement.  The front porch provides for some of the best people watching and neighbour getting knowing ever.

This shall be the summer of tea and wine, scones and jam, cheese and grapes, ice cream and hot fudge.  No big potlucks, barbeques or strawberry socials.  I’m going to sit on my porch, share simple food and elaborate conversation with one human at a time.  Accepting reservations now.